Week Three: Ga Ga Goo Goo

Zuzu watching over me as I sleep.

This week I found myself shopping in the "Baby Needs" aisle at the local CVS. Yup, my top three necessities this week are fruit punch flavored pedialyte, unscented baby wipes and 'No More Tears' Johnson & Johnson bubble bath. These, my friends, are essentials in life right now for this 40-year old man. I almost, ALMOST said fuck it and contemplated buying a package of Pampers, but I am not that far gone yet mentally - maybe next week. Poor Paul had to listen to me moan and complain this week that I think I saw him secretly looking for a pacifier to shut me up. God love Paul, he has been a saint through all this.

My doctor wasn't joking when he said that the radiation side effects would kick in during week three. If I am not passed out on the couch from exhaustion then I am chained to the toilet getting sick or in a lukewarm bath seeking relief. The pharmacist gave me lotion for my skin that is usually given to 3rd degree burn victims - this is how raw and sensitive my skin is right now. I cannot imagine two-and-a-half more weeks of radiation to my skin/body. Yikes!

I can see my ribs again; it's been several years since I could count every rib on my upper body. I have lost eleven pounds since I started treatment and while I was looking at my evolving torso in the mirror the other day, Zachary came into the room to ask me a question. He looked at the chemo port that is under my skin, above my right pectoral muscle, and he just said - "THAT is nasty! It looks like an alien is trying to come out of you body, like from that movie Aliens." Poor kid, I probably scarred him for life after seeing that. It's really not that bad, well, maybe it is. I am looking forward to having it removed once it's confirmed that the cancer is gone, but my doctor told me that it could possibly stay in my body for up to a full year. Well, I guess I won't be doing any beauty pageants this year.

Between Paul, Zachary, visits from friends and our cats - there is plenty of love and laughs keeping my spirits up at home. My cats sense something is wrong and won't leave my side. Zuzu sleeps with me on the couch and watches over me, licking my forehead and face to remind me that she is right by my side. I swear this cat is smarter than most dogs I have encountered. I have never had an animal like this - she is extremely in tune with the goings-on in our household.

Even though this post is a bit snarky, I am staying very positive about everything. I am more than halfway through treatment and I am feeling pretty confident that this treatment plan is going to work. When all is said and done this will be an experience that I can share with other people that are diagnosed with this type of cancer. I am motivated more than ever to push myself to try some motivational/inspirational speaking as a side gig in the future.