Joan

The American Dream. My family in the early 1940s.

No, this post is not about Joan Crawford. It's about another woman named Joan that I have built a friendship with during my treatments. My radiation appointments are bright and early in the morning (7am) and Joan is usually there in the waiting room with me and we briefly chat while we wait for our radiation treatments to start.

During my conversations with Joan, I have discovered she is an 82 year old woman that was recently diagnosed with breast cancer - the first in her family to develop cancer. One of the first questions Joan asked me was my age and when I told her that I was 40 years old, she quickly replied, "Oh! I thought you were much younger." I told her the same thing when she said she was 82. Joan is very quick, spry and extremely wise and I figured she was in her early 70. So I guess both Joan and I are aging well.

Today, there was a long wait in the waiting room, so Joan and I had much more time to chat. She told me that she refused to have any chemotherapy for her breast cancer. When I asked why, she told me, "I am 82 years old, it's not about the quantity of my life and how much longer I can live, it's about the quality of the remainder of my life ." She continued to tell me that she has had an amazing life and that she just wants the next few years of her life to be comfortable. She had a wonderful career, a loving husband (who passed away in November 2013), healthy children, a beautiful home, grandchildren and even two great-grandchildren. She lived the American Dream.

Joan asked me if I had any children. Any time anyone asked me if I have children, I say "yes." Obviously, Zachary is not my biological child, but I have been there with him since he was 10 months old and I consider him a part of me. She continued to ask me about my treatment and what I anticipated after treatment. I told her that if treatment works - then I will have regular checkups to make sure that cancer does not rear its ugly head again. If the treatment does not work, maybe I will do more treatment and maybe I won't. It all depends, although, I was clear that I will not have surgery to remove my affected area. Joan looked at me and said, "Think about that decision carefully. It may not be the most ideal way to live, but you are young and you can still accomplish many things in life." I am staying positive and strongly feel this treatment plan I am on will work, so I am trying not to think ahead, but I do have to start contemplating my options in case treatment does not work.

Joan and I then saw the 3-year-old patient we see every week being wheeled down the corridor to his radiation treatment with his young parents. Joan looked at me and said, "The nurses and doctors don't expect that young boy to live through treatment." We both kind of looked at each other and realized how lucky we both are. Joan for her 82 years of the American Dream and me for catching my cancer early and having a 90% chance of beating this. I also thought, if that young boy had the opportunity to live an extra few years or so he would be grateful for that time. I won't be hasty with my decisions on future treatment or surgery. I will rather be thankful for the option of life that has been given to me. 

"Staying positive is such important thing in life." Joan said to me. Words that I have lived by. Thank you Joan for your wisdom and insight. My eyes and mind are open more than ever.